7 positive affirmations for your inner mean girl
We all have that inner voice that tells us we aren’t good enough. Some people call it the inner bully, some people call it the “ED voice”, some people give that voice a name. I like to call this voice the inner mean girl.
She likes to chit chat our ear off and tell us why we shouldn’t ask for a promotion at work, why we shouldn’t go on a second date with the hot guy from the other night or why we shouldn’t eat dessert.
Calming the inner mean girl and starting to get along with her was one of the most important parts on my journey to food freedom and self-acceptance. One tool that helped me do that was positive affirmations.
I want to share one of the lessons of my “Own Your Body” course with you today, in hopes I can teach YOU the first step to silencing that inner bully of yours.
The very first step to calming that voice and eventually silencing it for good is to counter every little thing she says with a positive affirmation.
Here are some examples of myself and my students that will help you transform that inner mean voice into a loving one.
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“Your thighs look disgusting in those jeans.”
Pretty common thought, huh? What if you would acknowledge this inner voice for a moment and calmly respond with: “Actually, my thighs are pretty amazing. They are part of my legs, which carry me through life. They allow me to walk, run and lift weights, travel, drive and sit. I am grateful for my thighs.”
You are immediately taking the pressure off yourself to have slimmer thighs, by simply practicing gratitude for them.
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“Your face looks puffy today.”
Again, we are letting the voice scream at us, while calmly responding with: “My face is actually fine as is. I have eyes that allow me to see the world. I have a nose that allows me to smell and I have a mouth that allows me to taste. Pretty cool stuff!”
We want to move away from focusing too much on minor things and instead seeing the big picture. Again, gratitude is the goal.
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“You are such a dumb person. You have no clue what you’re doing at work.”
Here is how one of my students turned this one around: “If I didn’t have the appropriate education, I wouldn’t sit at my work desk right now. If I weren’t qualified, my supervisors wouldn’t have told me that they are satisfied with my work. I can’t know everything. I am going to face the challenges at work to educate myself further.”
Instead of listening to her inner mean girl, she started listing facts. Her evaluation at work was positive, so she took the impact of this inner voice away before she had a chance to get down on herself. Very powerful!
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“You have gained so much weight – you look disgusting.”
This is how another one of my students turned this around: “I gained weight, yes, but also ENERGY, LIFE AND PERSONALITY. It was a strong and brave thing to do.” This rang true for me as well! We gain so much once we stop being afraid of food. We stop living in a shell and instead learn to grab life by the balls and live it!
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“You will never recover! Might as well stop trying!”
How about instead, you say: “Recovery is a long journey, but I am already on the right track. Every day is a new opportunity to make progress. I am going to love the journey, instead of the destination. I am going to learn so much about myself!”
Recovery is a long-winded road, but so is having issues with food. Ask yourself: Would I rather suffer from disordered eating for the rest of my life or go through a year of challenges to live the rest of my life free and at peace with my body?
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“You will never find love at the size you are at right now.”
What a limiting belief! Finding true love has nothing to do with the shape of your body and everything to do with chemistry and timing. Here is how one of my students turned this around. “I will find love, when I am ready and open to receive it. Right now, I have to focus on learning to accept myself first. I have to work on feeling worthy to receive love. Changing my body won’t do that for me. It is an inner process that I am working hard on every day. Love will come find me sooner than I think.” YAS QUEEN is all I had to say to that!
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“You shouldn’t eat dessert, you already had a big lunch!”
Something I dealt with every single day, before I recovered. What I kept saying to myself instead was this: “I am moving away from counting and tracking. Food is nourishment and pleasure. I am entitled to eat, because I want to take care of my body as best I can. It has nothing to do with my lunch. Lunch-time has passed and now its dinner time. I am going to eat dessert because I truly want it. I will taste it, enjoy it and move on with my day.”
Ask yourself: “How much more time and mental space would I have every day if I wouldn’t spend hours calculating and tracking my food intake?”
Just IMAGINE all the amazing things you would have time and energy to do!