Intuitive Eating – why I’ll never diet again
[Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, mental health care or eating disorder treatment.]
As most of you know by now, I struggled with disordered eating and various eating disorders for over ten years – I would argue that my relationship to food has been rocky my entire life. I had heard of intuitive eating before, but always thought that I could never EVER allow myself to eat whatever I crave at any given moment.
The story I told myself was that if I were to allow myself all of the foods, I would never ever stop eating. I would stuff myself all day every day and only eat candy and chocolate bars. Any time I would hear somebody say that “once you allow yourself to eat whatever you crave without judging yourself, all the forbidden foods won’t seem as desirable“, I would just shake my head at them in disbelief.
If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you
In all honesty, my intuitive eating journey started out as a very challenging one. Even though I thought I allowed myself to eat all food groups and all foods, I would still judge myself and put myself down if I ate something unhealthy. I would call myself really mean names whenever I binged and knew I was not going to restrict the next day. (Side note: Binge eating in ED recovery is a very natural occurrence, as your body does not fully trust you yet. Binge eating is a sign of deprivation, not a sign of “no will power”.
In the past few weeks, I somehow realised that I have slowly come to a place of balance and trust with my body. It was not an overnight thought, where I woke up one day and knew I was healed. I am still not healed, but I am well on my way. Taking it day by day is key. Intuitive eating is a life long journey, but it could not be more rewarding.
Here are 8 things I have learned so far from intuitive eating:
1. The foods you thought you liked aren’t actually that delicious
Here is the best example I can give when it comes to foods I thought I LOVED. Back in my clean eating days, I would treat myself to a Tim Horton’s Creamy Chocolate Chip iced drink, whenever I had a “cheat meal”. Back then, this tall cup of chocolatey, sugary goodness was the best thing ever. I looked forward to it all week long and could not wait to have it. Also, I would top it off with a king size Snickers Bar and thought it was the perfect treat.
I would not “waste” my cheat meal on a healthier treat or make my own, no sir. Go hard or go home was my motto. I would go for the most sugar laden carb-rich treat I could find.
Well, the other day I thought about having one of those drinks and I could not get myself to have one. I really did not want to have a sugar crash and I knew that I can have it anytime I want, if I CHOOSE to do so. Alternatively, I can also make my own treats and have the whole pan of brownies if I CHOOSE to have it. The thing is, now that I know I can have it without judgement any day of the week, I don’t really want it anymore.
It is the most freeing feeling ever and my relationship to food has moved from “forbidden” to “what do I crave right now and would that make me feel good?”
2. Some days you eat too much and other days you eat too little and both are okay
Gone are the days where I would beat myself up over having a second helping of dinner, because I was hungry. Gone are the days where I would think “Screw it! I already ruined my diet today by having one cookie, might as well eat the whole box of cookies!”.
On the other hand, gone are the days where I would panic over not getting my next meal in on time because I was at work. The stress and anxiety I felt in the past about the timing of my meals is gone. I know that eventually I will be able to eat and it is okay to be hungry for a while, when there is no time for food. With intuitive eating, my body knows and trusts in me that eventually, it will get fed.
It is OKAY if I overeat today, I allow myself to eat as much as I want. My body will probably be less hungry the next day, so I might eat less than I need and that is OKAY too. Our bodies are wise and we have survived famines in the past and we have survived without eating 6 small meals every day too. There are no rules as to how much you SHOULD be eating every day, the only rules are the ones we put on ourselves.
3. Food will not solve your anxiety or other emotional distress, but if you find it comforting in the moment, it is okay to use it as a coping mechanism
I know right? Mind blown. “So, she is telling me that it is okay to have ice cream, because I am sad?!” Why, yes. Yes, it is. As long as you are AWARE of the fact that you are using food to cope and comfort yourself right now. As long as you know that there are other ways to cope that you can choose from at any given moment.
Sometimes I come home from work and I am tired, but I know I can’t afford to sleep right now and I need some extra energy. So I choose to eat a rich meal that will nourish me and keep me going. Is that emotional eating? I don’t think so. If I am sad and my mind goes to chocolate right away, I am able to stop, breathe and think to myself “I can have a piece of chocolate right now and that might ease my mind, but I might have to also take some time to work through this emotion. However, right now I want to zone out and choose to have chocolate.”
Do you see the difference? Instead of thinking “Ugh, I am a slob. Classic me, reaching for the chocolate again. Might as well eat the whole bar now, I am gross anyway.”, I am being compassionate with myself and allowing for the chocolate, but also making room for self development and spiritual work to get through this sadness.
4. Emotional Eating only exists if you have a past of restrictive eating behaviour
I listened to a podcast the other day called “Food Psych“, which I highly recommend. The guest on the show Isabel Foxen Duke spoke about the misleading term of emotional eating. She explained how it is 100 percent related to a restrictive eating behaviour in the past. This really resonated with me on a deep level.
If you have never restricted before, you will probably not have an issue with eating food when you are sad or anxious. The natural behaviour in these situations is to lose your appetite. Do you know the people that always drop weight when they are stressed, because they “forget to eat”? They are not full of crap, this is a real thing.
However, if you have restricted food in the past or if you are currently restricting, you may find yourself reaching for food to comfort your anxiety and calling yourself an emotional eater.
This is just some food for thought that you can think about next time you tell other people how you “eat emotionally”.
5. It is okay to have a cupcake on a Tuesday afternoon and it is incredibly liberating
Like I have mentioned before, all foods are allowed at any given moment. Do you want cake for breakfast? Go ahead and have a piece, you can have the whole slice if you want to. Just make sure that you are consciously choosing to have it and you are truly allowing it without judgement.
The other day, I wanted to eat a cupcake on a Tuesday afternoon, so I had it and enjoyed every bite. Then, I moved on with my day and did not think about this cupcake anymore. Not until a few hours later, when I realised what had happened. It was so liberating! There was no pity party about the cupcake, no thoughts about ruining my diet by eating it and no compensatory behaviour.
Also, I did not all of a sudden turn into a cookie monster and ate 10 more cupcakes. I do not feel like eating a massive “cheat meal” of 10 000 calories anymore. The reason is that I know that I can have any foods at any time. The moderation aspect comes over time, but if you truly allow yourself to go through this first phase of eating all the yummy foods, you WILL one day start craving healthier foods again. I promise.
6. Traveling is way more fun!
I have always loved traveling, but there also always was an aspect of anxiety. Am I going to be able to stick to my diet? Will there be healthy restaurants? What if I overeat? What if I gain weight? Will the food make me sick?
As I have practiced intuitive eating over the past months, I don’t think about food all that much anymore. (Side note: I do have my moments, where I know I am STILL in recovery, but they are getting less and less.) I am truly able to get excited. I get excited about getting to know other cultures and their foods. Excited to experience all the beauty of traveling and adventures and I am way more spontaneous.
It really feels great and food is just one aspect of traveling, not the end all be all. If there isn’t any healthy food available, it’s totally cool. I will find something I like and then move on to doing all the other fun things you do when you travel.
7. Intuitive eating translates into other areas of your life
A couple of weeks ago, I felt very uninspired in the gym and did not feel like training. In the past, I would have pushed even harder, I would have worked myself into the ground. Also, I would have beaten myself up over taking a rest day. Not this time. I made the conscious decision to take some time off training and give my body a break.
I did not judge myself and just listened to my body. A few days later, I felt like working out again, so I just went with it. This is where intuitive eating translates into other aspects as well, like working out.
I wrote an article about choosing the workout that is right FOR YOU, and this is in line with intuitive eating. Listen to your body and find something that you truly enjoy. Working out should not be a punishment, it should be a stress release that you enjoy and can lose yourself in. Can you relate?
8. Your intuition and gut feeling gets trained, too
This is something I sometimes experience and am blown away by. I have heard it before, but didn’t know it is true. Once you practice intuitive eating and are more in tune with your body when it comes to food, you are also more capable of listening to other signals your body is giving you.
For example, I had a job opportunity at a place I thought I wanted to work in. The day of the interview came and my gut feeling told me that it was not the right fit for me, so I said no.
A few months later, I started working at another place which turned out to be the best work place ever. Had I not listened to my gut, I probably would not be as happy as I am right now.