I didn’t work out for a year and here is what happened
I often get asked if I still have a workout routine after having recovered from exercise addiction and my eating disorder.
I haven’t addressed this on Instagram, but I wanted to share with you why I chose not to exercise at all for a long time.
In fact, this morning was my second workout of this year and it’s April *gasp*…
I used to work out religiously.
6 days a week, sometimes twice a day and I’m not gonna lie, I used to feel proud and addicted to other people’s comments on my workout routine.
“YOU ARE SO DEDICATED”
“HOW DO YOU DO IT?!”
“YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE”
Here is the thing though: not only was I secretly struggling with binge eating and excessively exercising to “make up for what I ate”, my body was also breaking down from overtraining.
When I committed to recovery, I took almost a year off of exercise
It was needed for my body to heal. Rest is so underrated and I’m glad I made it a priority.
When I started getting back into exercise, it just didn’t feel the way it did before. It felt triggering to go to the gym and be reminded of how I used to look and how other people used to envy me for my body.
I started to just go for walks instead to get my body moving and it felt a lot better and more managable.
When January 2019 hit and the whole world seemed to sign up for workout classes and marathons, I decided to intentionally not do any of it
I didn’t force myself to go to the gym at all. I made rest a priority yet again. It felt good, but during the past couple months, I noticed my anxiety creep in more than usual.
I realized that I didn’t do anything nice for myself whatsoever.
I wasn’t taking time for myself.
My self care was lacking big time, yet I was telling my clients and students to make self care a priority. I started feeling a bit like a fraud, but more importantly, I knew that I had to prioritize ME again.
Not necessarily in the gym, but in general.
I had to move my body, engage in fun activities and move away from my routine of working 16 hour days with no rest
So this morning, I decided to get up early and go to the gym. Not to burn calories, not to put in a super tough workout, just to be with myself.
Stretch, move, be. So I did.
And it felt fantastic, but mainly because I wasn’t focused at all on burning myself out or beating my body up with exercise. Instead, I saw it as an activity that allowed me to be fully present in my body.
This mindset is what’s helped me move my body for the right reasons and engage in healthy, weight neutral behaviours to FEEL good, not to look a certain way.
Moral of the story: there’s lots of things we can do to be present in our bodies. We can choose to engage in movement and exercise, meditation, relaxation or a hobby we enjoy.
If we don’t make it a priority, our self care easily slips through our fingers and we burn ourselves out (guilty!)
It’s important to reevaluate why you engage in exercise and set your intentions straight.
If you’re still wrapped up in weight loss or changing your body, maybe it’s time to take a step back from your workout routine and find other ways to be present in your body.
To truly take care of its needs *cough* especially its needs for rest.
It took me almost 3 years of recovery and inner work to get to where I’m at today. But taking an intentional break from working out was needed to get here.
I really wanna encourage you to not force yourself to exercise if you don’t enjoy it.
Exercise shouldn’t add to your stress, it should take away from it. If it doesn’t feel like it’s balancing out your mood, it’s time to engage in a different workout or movement practice.
There’s countless ways to take care of your body in a mindful, weight neutral way.
Was this helpful? I genuinely hope it was.
Now, go out there and … rest!
Love,
Rini