My eating disorder and exercise addiction gave me a FALSE sense of control, even though it was the other way around. I was letting it control me.
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eating disorder
Once I tasted ice cream for the first time in years, all flood gates opened and I couldn’t stop eating. After quitting my extreme fitness lifestyle, I went through about a year of eating upwards of tens of thousands of calories every single day.
I used to be team all-or-nothing. Either I would eat “clean” and train 6 days a week - sometimes twice a day - for months on end OR I would “fall off the wagon” and use this as an opportunity to eat unbelievable amounts of foods I wouldn’t normally allow myself. The binge-restrict cycle was my life for many years. To the outside world, I was the “healthy girl” that was so “dedicated”. Behind closed doors, I was isolating myself, hating my body and eating myself s[...]
Sometimes I wonder… what came first for me? Was it my anxiety or my eating disorder? I dove deep into researching the connection between mental health and disordered eating behaviors and it brought me a lot of clarity. I want to pass my knowledge on to you, so you can understand: How my anxiety caused me to self-sabotage with food as a coping mechanism Why certain coping mechanisms can help us survive How to cope with mental health concerns in recovery[...]
[Disclaimer: The content of this article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, health care or eating disorder treatment.] Our bodies fluctuate throughout our lifetime. We will probably not be the same size forever and that is completely normal. However, if we put ourselves through a period of excessive dieting, restricting food, binge eating, emotional eating or excessive exercise, the fluctuation will be much more[...]
[Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, mental health care or eating disorder treatment.] I love science. It is the one thing I believe in and research is a passion of mine. Some would even call it a compulsion. I like to question everything people tell me and look for scientific facts online to back up their theory. However, I know that scientific research can be quite dry and boring to some people. In this[...]
If you have ever struggled with binge eating, you can probably relate: Your alarm goes off and you are in a haze. What happened last night? You need a few seconds to realize that you still feel sick to your stomach. Your eyes and face feel puffy and you don’t even want to look in the mirror and see the damage. Your guilt is weighing you down, before you even got out of bed. All you want to do is shut the blinds and sleep forever. You probably made a promise to yourself last night that you won[...]
Dear 18-year old Rini, Here is a very heartfelt letter from your future self. You have just finished high school, which given your laziness in class is actually quite the miracle. Now, you are about to have the most amazing summer with all of your friends. You will stay up with your friends until 6 in the morning every other day. You will cycle home on your bike while watching the sunrise and feeling absolutely free and invincible. Make sure you are present every single moment, because ten years[...]
Spoiler alert: I don’t ever talk about or promote dieting, weight loss and body transformations. Why? Because there is an incredible amount of people out there doing this. Also, we seem to know exactly what we have to do in order to achieve that “perfect body”. Nevertheless, the struggle with disordered eating and a crappy body image is bigger than it has ever been before. Hence, this article is about 5 ways to track your progress in terms of self-acceptance as well as in terms of improvin[...]
[Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, mental health care or eating disorder treatment.] The RU Okay Day September 14 was the official RU okay day in 2017. RU okay is a suicide prevention charity that raises awareness about anxiety and depression. They have such an amazing mission that resonates with so many of us. Seeing instagram posts with this hash tag all over my feed gave me the extra push towards opening up[...]