Why having abs and being lean made me miserable

Let me tell you about my 2016 vs. 2019 priorities:

2016: Abs.

2019: Life. Memories. Connection. Love. Laughter. Being present. Purpose. Joy.

The price I had to pay to have abs

Obsessive calorie- and macro counting. Brain fog. Secret binge eating. Isolation. No social life. Excruciating workouts. Hating my body. Suffering from eating disorders for over 12 years. In secret. Being hooked on the outside world’s approval to feel worthy. Trying to fill up on massive amounts of spinach and broccoli to feel some sort of temporary “fullness”.

Why I am happier and healthier at a bigger size

I happily live in the body I’m in now, because it means I can be spontaneous and have pizza and ice cream on a random Tuesday without freaking out.
I can be present in conversations without crunching numbers in my head.
I can have popcorn and snacks at the movie theater.

Date nights with my husband without obsessively planning what I’m going to eat beforehand.
Cooking ‘real’ recipes, instead of the Paleo sugar free dairy free carb free version that I personally didn’t enjoy.
Feeling mostly neutral about my body and confident as a human being.

I know this isn’t everyone’s experience, this is my personal story.
However, I promise you that I’m not the only one.
Having abs was not worth the price for me, so I want to encourage you to choose your priorities wisely.

Learn more about my full story and eating disorder recovery here.